I’ve recently started back up talking to the person that I was dating a couple of months ago. To some this may seem like a mistake but I don’t really see anything as a mistake since I learn from EVERYTHING I go through. He was/is still a little upset with me because of some hurtful things I said when we were breaking up and in a way I don’t understand but in another way I don’t blame him. Sometimes I forget that other people put more weight on words than I do. It’s very easy for me to say things in anger/frustration and then pretty much forget about them. He asked me to apologize and I did but not for the words I said, because they came out of my mouth for a reason, but for the way they made him feel. The fact of the matter is when we weren’t talking there were moments when I was able to put him in the back of my mind and almost forget about him but really never could completely, which might’ve been in part because the whole time I continued to sleep with the stuffed fish he won for me. Either way I don’t want to forget about him. Technically what I want is to be with him and make him happy because when we’re getting along which was more often than not getting along he made me happy too. Recently I had a few dreams about him and finally decided to just send a text, call it a weak moment and judge me if you want to but in the past I’ve let other people’s opinions and my own pride get in the way of doing what I wanted to do or what I felt was the right thing for me. I guess what I’m getting at is the older I get the more I understand not only about myself but the people and the world around me. I don’t pretend to know everything and I know I’m still learning but one lesson I hope to have learned is that I want the people that make me happy and that I love around me and to feel like their lives are better because I’m there and if that means every once in a while I have to apologize then that’s what I’ll have to do. Next up MIGHT be learning to think before I speak but let’s not get too lofty, one lesson at a time ;-P